Potty

I haven't pushed Lucy to go potty on her toilet at all. In fact, I store it in D and J's room out of her sight. Well, all last week, she would tell me she needed to go potty and then she would follow her request with "hurry, hurry, hurry!" Of course, we give her all the credit she deserves because she is totally awesome! Her independence is really blossoming and she is really loving the independence that going potty gives her.

Something funny that Lucy does now that she has this new independence is keep herself from taking naps and going to bed on time. I think these tricks are innate in children and I just have to laugh that she totally knows what she is doing.

What I don't like is that she shoves little toys between her legs into that bowl of disgusting and I loath the clean-up. I can't just flush her toilet, I have to bang it upside down on the toilet rim to get her poop out and then rinse it a bunch of times and then dump it in the toilet and then sanitize her entire toilet chair. Oh and she asks to go potty a million times a day (not really but it feels like it). I think mostly, she likes bossing me around and she is really good at it.

P.S. Lucy's Sunbeam teacher came yesterday and Lucy sat on her potty the entire lesson. She's not shy.

Adopted

So, sometimes I make posts but I don't actually post them. I decided to go back and grab this one because the same issue keeps coming up and we don't know how to make our child understand or believe us...

Several months ago:

J: Why am I the only one who has an outie belly button?

Chad: Aunt Deanna has an outie.

J: No, why am I the only one?

And then she broke down...

J: I know I am adopted, I know it! I am the only one with an outy belly button and blond hair!!! Look, you guys all have innie belly buttons and dark or brown hair.

It came out like she had been thinking about it for awhile and I thought, maybe she does need therapy.

We thought this was funny but we didn't know how serious she was until tonight. We spent about 20 minutes explaining to her that she was ours, as in, I was pregnant with her for 40 weeks and one day! I explained that she looks a lot like me when I was little and Chad told her that she gets her beautiful face structure from him and her chin from me (Hey!).

Dallin can't even stop laughing about this (he didn't even have to tell her she was adopted to get crazy reactions-note: ask Chad about his sister Deanna) and we are starting to get a little worried but not worried enough to stop laughing about it.

Synagis

Every winter month, Lucy and I drive to PAMF and park in the driveway and wait for the nurses to come out and give her her synagis shots. This shot is kind of a big deal because it is so extremely expensive and it is only given out to children (infants mostly) that are at high risk and it is supposed to help fight off RSV. It is usually a battle to get Lucy approved every year but Dr. Borden has it down to an art now so the battle is pretty easy.

We always lay her down in the back of the car and she watches people as we wait. When I opened the door to put her in the back she said, "It's a beautiful day!"

She also asked me "Is this a pocket?" I didn't know what she was talking about until I looked at her hand and saw her finger hooked in her belt loop.

She never likes to get shots but when we pulled into our driveway she said, "That was a great trip."

I love her attitude.

There is a very strong correlation

between Lucy's health and my stress. I mean, I am always stressed out (obviously) but when she is sick, it's so crazy. I'm kinda on a high right now, this is something that usually happens after Lucy has overcome something and I am just so, so grateful! She recovered well and we started school back up again. We had another IEP meeting (basically a legal contract for schools to accommodate a special needs child) and changed Lucy's class time, she now goes with the 4 year olds because waking Lucy up at 6:40 to get her to school by 8 was just too much. Plus there were about 7 kids in that class and that was too many germs.

When I was packing her into the car on Monday to go to school she said, "I'm so happy!" Taking her to school is a lot of work but just hearing that made it all worth it.

Their music teacher is so fun and just does her thing and she is amazing on every instrument, even a recorder! Lucy wanted one "just like her".

The class walked to the library for story time and so many kids stop and ask us questions about Lucy and her power chair. She also watched the librarians zebra fish eat and she loved that.

This is called a smart board. I can't really explain how cool this is. I think D and J have it in their classrooms as well but it is connected to a laptop and the board becomes a gigantic iPad. The kids love it and here is Lucy doing a dot-to-dot "all by herself".

They just hired a nurse to be with Lucy one-on-one but I am still going to be in the small building in one of the extra meeting rooms (or if if the high school lets me, I will run on their track) because I just can't find it in me to leave Lucy (for now, we will see how things go). Her teachers are so great, though, they sanitize everything before they give it to Lucy and they wash, wash, wash their hands and wear gloves. Jo Camper, the teacher and Krystina, the school nurse have talked to and sent letters home to the parents asking them to please keep their children home if they are even slightly sick. I feel a bit guilty inside but caring for Lucy is no joke at all and I am so grateful to them for trying so hard to make it possible for Lucy to go to school and be safe. The parents have already been so understanding and it means so much!

Overheard

1. Jocey took her guitar to music class on Friday. The night before...

J: Mom, can you make me look really beautiful tomorrow? Can you make me look Chinese?
*her music teacher is Chinese.

2. At the dinner table

J: Mom, do fairies exist?
Me: Nope
J: So, the tooth fairy doesn't exist?
Me: (I am so bad at answering questions from the kids, my wit isn't as great as Chad's).
Well, the tooth fairy is special, she exists.
Dallin: No, Jocey, the tooth fairy is Mom and Dad. Dad, I saw you sneak under my pillow and grab my tooth, I was pretending to be asleep! Take that! Ha!

3. Jocey has had some behavioral issues at home.

Me: Jocey, I really hope that you don't act like that at school.
J: Mom, do you want to know why I don't act like that at school?
Me: Why?
J: Because my friends would think I am crazy.
Me: Well, what about your family, what if we think you are crazy.
J: Well, you guys aren't going to tell anybody.

Escaped Alcatraz

*Lucy is sneaky and pulls her hands out of her splints (see left hand)

It's almost been a full 7 days since we ramped up Lucy's already high-maintenance care and we are e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d. Lucy still isn't recovering although, she is maintaining. She started out on Omoxicillin at the beginning of the month for an ear infection/eye infection. It didn't do anything so on the 4th day we switched to Omnicef. She has been on that for 10 days (last day was today) and she still is goopy and not really improving. I texted her Pediatrician last night and she asked me to bring her in for an x-ray this morning-always bad, we always end up getting admitted.

The x-ray technician remembered us and she told me what Dallin and Jocey did the last time we were there which was hilarious and she told me to tell them the "office police" said hi-the employees played a trick on D and J. Anyway, we met with Dr. Borden and she said that her lungs looked good and that we would put her on zythromiacin (sp?) for 5 days since there is a resistant infection going around and this medication seems to be clearing other kids.

Dr. Borden also broke the very sad news that she wasn't going to be working anymore. I may have cried. She bends over backwards for us...she takes calls from me on her personal phone on vacation even! She is still going to be my Dr. friend and she offered to help in any way and she hand-picked out a Dr. for us, who we met, and I am sure she will be great.

Dr. Borden called later today and said that she talked to Dr. Yuan (pulmonologist) and they said that her x-ray actually looks just like the last x-ray Lucy had when she was admitted in November. They decided to put her on a different antibiotic and we would just keep doing the same treatments at home but if she got any worse to take her in.

So, we may have escaped but we are not out of the water yet. I feel like we are drowning but we should be getting hospice care soon. I think I will cry the day that we get some day time help, really. I am barely staying afloat.

**Just to clarify, we don't expect things to get worse anytime soon, hospice for kids is/can be a little different than for adults. Don't want to scare any of you.

Chad is picking D and J up right now...

As good as it has been to have them gone this weekend (for everyone's sake) we are really excited to see them again. And we are so excited that Lucy is doing a little better. She was off her mask for a little while today and she didn't want it back on. She is still coughing a lot but I am impressed that she is actually moving secretions when she coughs (which is very weak but impressive for her).

Looking forward to our 'normal' routine...

*video taken in December

Lucy is sick

Yes, Lucy is sick again. Jon and Cami (Chad's cousins) called on Saturday and offered to take D and J. I am so glad that we agreed to let them come and take them for the weekend. They love playing with their Snow cousins and we don't have to worry about them while they are gone.

Lucy had a rough night with high heart rate, low oxygen, coughing, and her left L was sounding diminished (she has been a little congested lately but it has stayed out of her lungs until now). I took her to my room and laid her at an incline (with her head down so that the fluid in her lungs would drain) and gave her several medications. We have been doing treatments every 3 hours all day and then 2 treatments at night. Thankfully, things are working in Lucy's favor (and ours) and it looks as if we are over the worst part and so we don't anticipate having to take her in but we will see how the next few days go.

She was tired but she didn't want to go to sleep so I let her color and she fell asleep holding the pen and she had colored most of the board in.

Chad and I have been getting up with the nurse to make sure he treatments are done well and she gets tucked in comfortably. We aren't getting much sleep but that is so much better than having Lucy at the hospital. Today, she has been really chipper and isn't choking as much and her stats are stable. She even asked to go potty in her toilet and she has been singing all day.

And last, here is a video of Lucy taken this morning.

Another crush

Dallin's friend, Evan, came over the other day for a little while and Jocey was ready for his arrival by applying a ton of make-up, frizzing out her hair, and putting on a 'beautiful' outfit (not the one pictured above) before he even walked in the door. I found her wrestling him just after he arrived and told her that was not okay!! She turned on some music and started singing in her really, really 'good' voice, this voice is so funny, she dips at the beginning of each word and uses a lot of vibrato and lots of feeling. She was singing, dancing and holding her hands out in front of her in the shape of a heart. She would aim the heart wherever Evan was standing and poor Evan didn't even know what to do besides run. Jocey would get frustrated and ask "why does he keep running away?" I didn't know what to say to her. She is so different than me. I'm passing this ball onto Chad's court.

Overheard

I am behind so please excuse the amount of blog posts I will be posting (hopefully).

1. Lucy was a little constipated the other day so I gave her a liquid suppository. I wrapped her in a blanket and sat with her on the rocking chair. I told her to tell me when she had a BM and I would change her diaper. Well, about 10 minutes later, she told me to change her.

I laid her on the ground and opened up the blanket and there was a very large surprise all over the place, I am so glad there was a blanket between her and me. I asked Jocey to get a plastic bag so I could put everything in and take it out to the trash. As she is holding the bag open, she starts dry heaving, I tell her to toughen up (it was bad) and she starts dry heaving with her whole body and then she barfs...on the floor... so I had two messes to clean up.

2. Lucy always complains about her feet hurting. Our little task master demands that we rub her feet whenever her boots are off. She even makes her night nurses rub them at night. Lately, when she wants us to do something for her like rub her feet she will say

"My feet, my beeeeauuutiful feet hurts... Rub it." Apparently it works because now when she wants me to hold her, she says, "I want my beeeeauuuuttiful mom". Gets her way every time.

3. Lucy takes real advantage of one of her night nurses. Since Lucy has been pretty sick (more on that later) we have been up with the nurse making sure Lucy's treatments are done well and that she gets tucked back in comfortably. The nurse has been telling me the things that Lucy says to her at night and it is so funny. She knows when this nurse is here and she doesn't sleep that well because she knows she can boss her around and when the nurse tries to ignore Lucy so she'll go to sleep Lucy yells. "Yoo, hooo? Is anybody there?"

Sister's Weekend

Since Celeste was in town and Angela was in town over the holidays, we decided to get away for the weekend. I actually have 4 more sisters (2 sisters and 2 sister-in-laws) and a mom that we would've loved to have but this was good enough for now...

Chad was a really good sport and the kids never feel bad about staying with him so we were off!

We landed at our hotel on the beach of Monterey which is where Chad and I stayed for the 4th of July a few years ago. So (here comes a tangant), whenever we are at a beach, I look for whales. I know that sounds crazy because you'd think the chances are slim. I know that in the winter sea life is migrating and there is always a lot of activity in the Montery Bay. I've "thought" I've seen a whale like 100 times but Chad teases me every time I say that I see one (because I actually don't, it's either a sail boat or a white cap). It's like antler hunting in the mountains and everything starts looking like an antler. The ocean is the same, everything starts looking like a whale spout. Well, when we pulled into the parking lot, I started telling my sisters this and then I yelled out "I see a whale". They laughed and then I told them how serious I was and pointed to the spot. Well, they saw it too. I really saw a whale and that totally made my day even better. It was awesome.

We had so much fun, talking and laughing. Sisters are the best. This Surrey (sp?) was so much fun. The funniest part was that there were 2 steering wheels and only mine controlled the car. Well, Melanie was sitting at the non-working wheel. She was spinning it like crazy and even when we told her she wasn't controlling anything, she was still spinning it. When she was taking a video, it was all over the place because she was too busy "turning" the surrey. Ha!

We also saw the hugest seal I have ever laid my eyes on, it was the size of 10 regular ones, you can kind of see it in this picture towards the back.

Tide pools are so fun, I can't ever get tired of them. My sisters dared me to pick up the star fish but it was stronger than me.

If you live here in northern CA, you know what a problem squirrels are. I hate squirrels but the squirrels at Lover's Point like people and they stand up and clap their hands so you'll give them food. Eek.

This is the prettiest beach that I have ever been to, it is in Carmel and I love that the sand is so fine.

Celeste is writing love messages to her Wesley

We ended up finishing our weekend with a nice foot rub.

I love my sisters, there isn't any kind of person that can replace them and my sisters have all done so much for me. I am just so lucky to have so many of them. It was so special to be with them and I will always cherish these sweet memories.

Aunt Celeste's Visit

Celeste is always fun and we were so excited for her to come a couple of days after Christmas. Jocey and Dallin took advantage of new blood and soaked her for all of the attention-giving she was worth. Jocey conned her into making her this cute apron. They walked to the grocery store to make a delicious meal for Chad and me. Celeste is also a dancer (actually, she can do anything and everything) so she did ballet positions with Lucy and Lucy really liked that.

The Japanese Tea Gardens were opened for one last day this year so we thought we would venture to the city. It was a gorgeous day but there wasn't any handicap parking so we had to park like 3/4 mile away, it took forever to get to the entrance. I walked ahead and coaxed Lucy into driving instead of looking at every leaf/rock/stick on the ground and Celeste walked next to her to keep her from driving off the path.

Lucy had enough of me telling her where she could and couldn't drive, really, I'm just trying to keep her safe. You should see the places she tries to drive and when her head flops down, she laughs! She is crazy. She is not the kid you just let run off of ledges and bump into buildings. She was being really mean to me so Chad sat and talked with her about her behavior (she is so hard to discipline, btw). She was pretty nice after that and she even apologized-which is actually hard to get her to do, she is stubborn.

The place wasn't as accessible as we thought and we got to a place where Lucy couldn't drive so a few people helped lift her incredibly heavy power chair up these ledges. Several minutes later, we found an accessible path, woops!

All in all, it was a beautiful day and so nice to get Lucy out and about. Oh, look! A picture of Dallin, I have such a hard time catching him.

Jocey swooning over Thomas, he was so nice and patient with the kids and I am sure he is so glad to be several hours away.

Christmas...

The kids have asked Chad directly several hundred times if Santa is real and whatever he said or how many different responses he gave, they still believe! I don't know if that is the reason or if it was the several secret Santa's that delivered the sweetest gifts and treats to our door every evening in December. I had such a hard time keeping you all straight but to you secret Santa's, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts! We have all of the temporal things that we need but the gifts you all brought were a physical evidence of the love and support we need. We are so grateful to you and these gifts made our hearts burst with love and gratitude for all of the love and support that we receive from so many.

Jocey and Dallin were awake several times in the night, and we didn't have a night nurse to guard the presents. D and J were so anxious for Lucy to finish her treatment so that they could dive into their gifts - we made them stay in their room. Lucy knows what Christmas is all about and she was tense with excitement.

Chad's present, you may have guessed, was picked out and purchased by himself. He is so hard to find presents for. The things I know he wants, I would never buy (guns, boats, cars, more hunting gear, etc.) and the things I would buy, he wouldn't want. This arrangement works out nicely, he buys his gifts and he buys mine (and he always does an awesome job too)

Angela and Thomas came into town for Christmas and they came bearing gifts for the kids. The highlight being lab equipment for Dallin. Aunt Melanie also spoiled us rotten, she is the most generous giver.

Lucy was so, so excited for these two to visit. She keeps saying that she wants to go to Utah to see them since they have left.

My sister's husband, Wes, surprised her with an airplane ticket to visit us for a week! It was so fun and I will record more of Celeste's stay later.

Also, Tina, the RT that we love, love, love made a visit and we always love when she comes by. Lucy is very obsessed with Strawberry Shortcake and most of her vocabulary comes from that show, I couldn't find any dolls like the ones I had when I was little but I thought these vintage dolls were so perfect for her to hold.

We had such a wonderful Christmas and we hope that you all did too!